The Selfie


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Saved a lot of money
Bought the new glittery dress
Called up the girls and arranged a night out
We looked beautiful
And had a lot of fun
But it wasn’t enough you see?
If you didn’t see it
If you didn’t “oh and ah” and say we were beautiful
So you know what we did?
We pursed our lips and took a selfie!

Lunch was good
But I ate it alone you see?
Alone in a room full of people
I checked in on all my friends though
Saw them on Instagram, wondered why I wasn’t invited
Him on Facebook
Saw her perfect home on Pinterest- complete with her grinning groom
Had that riveting conversation on Twitter
And then posted a photo of my half eaten lunch!
It was good, maybe even nutritious
But good is not enough if you didn’t applaud it

So this ticket I bought
To the next location on my bucket list
Was 5 months of saving
No eating out, no Starbucks and only doing the bare necessities
I finally took in the view
The blue blue sea in Santorini
And the white washed buildings that stick out against the beautiful blue skies
I close my eyes,
Take a deep breath
And oh! I pull out my iPhone
Click, and upload it to Instagram
My dream came true
But it was not enough if you did not see it!

LOL! Coming from one who blogs
This all seems like a load of crap
But behind every selfie and every share
I wonder if there is a silent scream
I wonder if there is a question
I wonder if the question is
“Do you see me?”
Beyond my so called beauty
Beyond where I go
Beyond what I have or do
Do you see me?

Yes, we all have voices
We must be heard
But do you hear the yearning of my heart?
When I am lonely
Can I get a hug that’s not a smiley? Some skin?
When I am joyful
Can we share the joke, the joy and pause mid-laughter to look into one another’s eyes?
Do you see me?
Even worse do I still see me?
Do I love me without you?
Or do I need you to feel complete?
To feel enough?
Does your applause validate me?
Or can I take my own stand?

Ping! Must be a Facebook alert
I’ve got to go
Will think the deep thoughts
After I post this one last selfie!
BRB!

 

 

7 replies to “The Selfie

  1. …It was good…But is good not enough if you didn’t applaud it…Love this. Tongue-in- cheek yet profound and convicting.

  2. Beautiful Hajara…..what insight…..you truly are a wordsmith. Some of us like ‘yours truly’ struggle to express our thoughts! lol. I often wonder, the need to be admired…..where does it stem from? Is it an inherent part of the human species? Women want other women to admire their handbags, Brazilian hair and jewellery….and their husbands/boyfriends to admire their beauty. Men want other men to admire their cars and their wives/girlfriends to admire their brains or brawns. Hmmmm we all want to be admired and at what cost?

    1. I totally feel you. I don’t know the answers, all I know is that if we live for the applause of human beings, we die from their rejection, and human beings are fickle, we change our minds often. So while we enjoy ourselves and our God-given beauty, and blessings, once our hearts are right and we act with God as our focus, we will be fine.

  3. I love the insight behind this. There are loots of lonely people out there and that’s why I try to give everyone I meet with a smile. I’m always open to engagement too — I’ve had instances where I didn’t really want to talk but later found out that meant a lot to the person.

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